 Willpower can be a tricky concept for those of us with ADHD. The neurotypical advice often feels back-to-front. Let's start with the psychological definition: willpower is the ability to delay gratification and resist short-term temptations to meet long-term goals. It also includes the capacity to override unwanted thoughts, feelings, or impulses, and control your actions, emotions, and bad habits.
This got me thinking—this sounds a lot like discipline. But there’s a crucial difference. Discipline is about obeying rules, conditioning behaviours to a certain standard, with punishment for disobedience. Willpower, on the other hand, is a resource, an energy within you to control your urges without being measured against a standard or punished for falling short.
Willpower vs. Discipline
For years, I thought my struggles with getting up early or sticking to routines meant I lacked willpower. But I realised I was confusing willpower with discipline. Discipline means conforming to societal standards, often leading to self-criticism when we don’t measure up. Willpower is different. It’s a finite resource that varies daily, especially for those of us with ADHD. Some days, we wake up feeling full of energy and willpower. Other days, we don’t. And that’s okay.
For women, hormonal cycles also play a role. Our willpower levels fluctuate, and it’s essential to accept this and not punish ourselves. Recognising willpower as a resource rather than a measure of discipline can reduce self-criticism and help us work with our ADHD, not against it.
The Unique Challenges of ADHD and Willpower
ADHD affects our willpower in several ways. Weak executive functioning makes it hard to prioritise tasks. Impulsivity means we often act without thinking. Distractions pull us away from our goals. Additionally, ADHD brains crave dopamine, the feel-good neurotransmitter. Short-term gratification, like eating a chocolate bar, gives an instant dopamine hit. Long-term goals, like writing a book, don’t provide the same immediate reward, making them less appealing.
We also experience time blindness, seeing tasks as now or not now. If something isn’t happening immediately, it doesn’t seem real. This impacts our ability to work toward long-term goals. Understanding these challenges is crucial for managing willpower effectively.
Practical Strategies for Managing Willpower
- Start with the Easiest Task: Look at your to-do list and choose the easiest or most enjoyable task first. This goes against the typical advice of tackling the hardest task first, but it works for ADHD brains. Starting with something easy builds momentum and gives a sense of accomplishment.
- Stay in Motion: ADHD brains often struggle with starting tasks. Once in motion, it’s easier to keep going. Avoid sitting down or taking off your shoes when you get home. Keep moving and use the momentum to tackle additional tasks.
- Break Down Tasks: Large tasks can be overwhelming. Break them into smaller, manageable steps. Celebrate each small achievement to build confidence and keep moving forward.
- Use Mindfulness Techniques: Incorporate mindfulness practices like meditation, EFT tapping, or journaling into your routine. These activities can help calm your mind, build willpower, and resist urges for instant gratification.
- Recognize Your Limits: Accept that your willpower is a finite resource. Some days will be better than others. Be kind to yourself on days when your willpower is low. Try again tomorrow.
Conclusion
Willpower is a valuable resource for managing ADHD, but it’s not about adhering to rigid standards of discipline. By understanding and working with our unique challenges, we can use willpower to our advantage. Start with the easiest tasks, stay in motion, break down large tasks, practice mindfulness, and recognize your limits.
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Disclaimer: I am not a medical or mental health professional. I'm simply a fellow ADHD'er that hyper focused on strategies and hacks for the last year and half. I'm not expert, just learning alongside you and sharing what I find. For Entertainment Purposes Only.